Easter CRAZINESS!

Saying this weekend was crazy busy is an understatement! Sue stayed in Charleston and Daddy flew out to Oklahoma. Bobby went to the Masters with his Mom on Sunday. Therefore, leaving our little Easter gang really small. Newspring had 5 different services: 2 on Saturday and 3 on Sunday, so Tom pretty much worked the entire weekend. I sang in the choir both services Saturday and then again on Sunday night. I have to say that I really loved singing! I used to sing all the time, but it seems like the older I've gotten, the further I've gotten from singing or playing the piano. Which sometimes makes me sad. I remember seriously singing almost every weekend in college in a different church somewhere. It was exhausting, but I loved it, and being able to sing again, even if just a little bit every now and then, has been pretty great. Grandma Judy kept Mag on Saturday night and they had a great time. I came home to find a bag of "rag" magazines, as she calls them, which I love. Tom said they'd be good to counteract all the "church" I had this weekend. She had also bought a cake from the Sweetery (Italian Creme, YUMMM!!!) and get this, had washed all of Maggie's laundry and folded it AND gotten the chocolate stains out of the dress she wore to the Easter Egg hunt. I was a little stressed about it, because it's one that Mama bought when I was pregnant with Maggie and I was worried they wouldn't come out - but they did, thanks to some hand-scrubbing by Grandma Judy. She really is the best!

Sunday morning, Mag and I got dressed up (pictures of Maggie and her Easter dress coming later), picked Sarah up, went to Dunkin' Donuts and then to church at Boulevard Baptist. Sarah and Bobby started going there a little more than a month ago and so far, they seem to really like it. Maggie screamed like a little banshee when we dropped her off at the nursery and I kept watching the door in Sunday School, waiting for them to come and get my unconsolable child. It never happened, though, so we went to the service. It's been so long since I sat in a really traditional church service. It felt a little strange. I mean, all those years I played piano for Townville Baptist, but it wasn't quite as formal as Boulevard. The hymns were the same, the ones I've sang on Easter since I was a little kid, but there was a lot of "call and response" stuff, which I have always thought a little strange. There were tons of cute little kids wearing their Easter outfits and the music was really well done.

Hm...so after that, we went back to "Sassy's" house and took lots of pictures in the front yard. The tree in the front is blooming and had the most fabulous light pink flowers all over it. I "re"hid Maggie's Easter eggs from the hunt on Saturday morning and she, Oscar, and Kobe all ran around finding them. She really looked like a baby doll! I can't wait to post pictures!

After that, Tom came home and we all went to lunch at Fatz. Our small little dinner party of 4 (including Maggie). Then back to church that night to sing again. Good Easter weekend! It was a little crazy, but it was definitely good!

All things new...

This past weekend, we traveled to Virginia and back to visit Grandparents and other family. It ended up being a great trip...minus the Thursday night when we arrived and Maggie decided she was done sleeping. Poor Tom. He took full duty and stayed up with her until about 5 a.m. I bailed on him and slept in the other room with Sarah. I discovered long ago that Maggie and I cannot sleep in the same room. It actually all started during the first 6 weeks of her life. She slept right by our bed and every little noise, sniff, cough, etc. knocked me wide awake. It's never really changed. After a few times of sleeping in the same room with her when we are away, I now immediately look for a large closet or another room and that is where she sleeps. At Tom's moms apartment, Maggie's room is actually the large closet off of the guest bedroom. At the Christmas cabin this past year, her room was the extremely large walk-in closet off of our bedroom. It just works out better that way. However, in Virginia, there isn't really much room to move around so she generally sleeps in the same room with somebody. The house where my Grandparents live is the same house they've lived in since moving down from Ohio in the 1960's. Mama used to say that was the worst year of her life.
She was in 9th grade and her parents moved the entire family from Dayton, OH to Tazewell, VA. How they found Tazewell, I have no clue. Her brother, Rocky, still to this day, lives right up the driveway from my Grandparents. Civil rights stuff was getting pretty bad in Dayton and that's why they moved, but Mama thought she was going to die. The house (which now is a LOT different) at the time had only 4 rooms. A kitchen, a den, and 2 bedrooms. No indoor bathroom. They had to walk outside and use an outhouse. I can't imagine how awful that must have been. As if moving into a new school in 9th grade wasn't bad enough, my Grandparents found a new religion at the same time which included Mama no longer being able to cut her hair and always having to wear dresses. If you read my sister's blog, you can catch up on that a little more. I can't imagine how mean and cruel the kids at Tazewell HS must have been to her. Probably the same amount as they are to my cousins who are currently going there. I remember Mama reminiscing about how the "Town kids" and the "Country Kids" didn't integrate. She was a "Country kid" and in the few stories she told us about the "worst year of her life", she would comment about how mean the kids were. Makes my high school days not seem so bad.
We had a good visit, though. Learned a little more family history. It's interesting how I've noticed the ones who live there never ask questions about where we came from, yet when we visit we pick Grandma and Grandpa's brains as much as we can for any little tidbit of info that we might have never heard before. Sarah is on an Ancestry.com kick right now and she's actually done a pretty fabulous job of tracking. You've got to hate it, though, when you spend hours and hours tracking and then you open up Grandma's family bible and everything you've worked so hard to find is already written right there. It is a good feeling, though, for her that all the info seems to match up even Grandma says, "I don't know how accurate all that stuff is". I think the reason that we're so hellbent on finding our history is because our last tie to that history is Grandma and Grandpa. I'm sure Grandma shared hundreds of stories with Mama and I'm also sure that half of those stories never got a chance to be passed along.
They're coming down to visit in 2 weeks hopefully. We bribed them by pulling the Susanna card. They didn't get to see her this past weekend and she'll be coming home on the 17th, so hopefully they'll be here. The Saturday will be Townville day. We just want to take Grandma to Townville and go through the house little by little and let her tell us anything she can remember about where stuff comes from, any stories about anything, etc. Basically anything that we might never hear otherwise. It's something that needs to happen, not necessarily a fun thing, but a good thing in the long run.
We've started weeding things out of the house little by little. My take on it is that right now I have an "in" to the house by working for Daddy. However, when new wife comes along (which may only be a matter of time) my "in" will be gone. The feel of that house has already changed. It's like a weird shell that is completely Mama in every way except for the feeling (which is pretty much everything). I used to feel close to her when I was out there, but I don't anymore. I really feel like my clock is ticking to get everything finished that needs to be finished.
Sarah had theory this week about Daddy. She and I were riding along in the car running errands and my phone rang. It was Daddy again. I had just hung up with him and he immediately called back as if he had thought of one more thing he had to say. His question was about the title of a piece of music I sang in college and whether or not I could get the music so he could give it to the choir at the church in Oklahoma to learn. I didn't think anything of it except it was really really weird. Sarah immediately nailed her theory: He wants it in his wedding ceremony. Interesting. Hadn't though of that until she said it, but it strangely in a really awful way made sense. She was highly disgusted and pissed by the entire thing saying that what else could it be since the times in my life when he's shown any interest in any song/music ever has been um....ZERO...until that conversation. So, it makes awful sense.
More later, but before I go....a new Mag picture:

The Attack of RSV

So, we've had a new visitor at our house this weekend. It goes by the initials, RSV, short for Respiratory Syncytial Virus (I actually just copied and pasted that...no way was I going to attempt spelling it). It is a seriously nasty little devil. Green snot, yucky cough, high fever, unhappy little Maggie over all. She has been truly pitiful and has spent the majority of the past few days on our laps. Took her to the Dr. Saturday morning and basically just confirmed everything we had already self-diagnosed off the internet (for a small fee of $100, 20 minutes later). It did make me feel better to know that her lungs/ears all looked and sounded good, though. Supposedly, the 4-6 days is the worst and it lasts a total of 10-14 days, so we're halfway there. Poor baby.

Her new words of the week are "Snots" (prounounced "noss") and "Splash" (prounounced "p-sash"). She gets so very upset when she has anything stuck on her hands. It can be food, dirt, imaginary particles, etc. This week, it's snot. She comes to me with her hand out saying in this pitiful voice, "Noss. Noss. Noss." I try not to laugh, but most of the time, I just can't help it. She is my favorite comedian.

Maggie and Mama

Today, like a lot of days every week, Maggie and I made our solo (or technically duo) trek to Townville. When we travel to Townville, it's usually pretty quiet days. If Daddy is actually there, he will hold Maggie on and off (giving himself a time limit on the clock, but if you know Daddy, then you understand that) and read her books. She absolutely loves him. When he walks in the room or she hears some one say anything about Granddaddy, her face lights up and she starts saying "Da da Da da!" over and over again.

I've split my T-ville days into specific duties. On Monday (or sometimes Tuesday, whichever) I generally cook...and when I say cook, I mean really really cook. Like 6 or 7 hours of cooking. The goal is to fill enough plates in the refrigerator of home cooked food, so that Daddy doesn't have to eat out. He is tired of eating out, says that he hates sitting there alone, eating food that isn't homemade, and then coming home to his house alone afterwards. I can understand that. Better to just come home alone and at least eat good food when you get there. So, there's always the cooking day.

The other day is spent cleaning and doing his laundry. Always 4 loads, one nice colors and darks, one with jeans, one of nice whites, and one of Michelin whites (those are the not so nice whites). Over the years, Mama trained Daddy to put his Michelin whites in a separate location from his others clothes. They're really that bad. I guess that's what working with rubber will do. So, after all those years of getting so irritated at him when he combined his laundry time after time, he has finally grasped the concept. So, the other day is spent doing laundry...a lot of laundry and cleaning the house.

Today was a cooking day. Mag and I started out by going grocery shopping in the ghetto. That would be Quality Foods, which is definitely the cheapest place to buy meat. And Daddy eats a lot of meat so for him, that's where we go. We got home and instead of taking her normal nap, Mag was ready to play. She loves playing out there. Better even than her own house. I don't know what it is, but I can always get a lot of work done out there and she just entertains herself.

I was going back and forth between feeding her lunch and baking cookies and as I stood at the stove, I heard her laugh. If you know Maggie then you know that she doesn't just laugh for the heck of it. I turned around to ask my silly child what she was laughing at. Immediately, I stopped in my tracks. She was looking towards the other side of the kitchen, but at something close to her that I couldn't see. Her little hand was waving and she was laughing over and over and smiling into what appeared to be only air to me. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. I knew without a doubt that Mama was standing right beside her playing with her baby Maggie. I just sat there and watched as Maggie looked back and forth between me and Mama. Waving her little hand with the biggest smile on her face and laughing. I told her to tell Mama hey for me. Unmistakable moment that just reminded me for a split second that Mama isn't far away at all. I know she was in the kitchen with me and Maggie, I could feel her, and Maggie could see her, and best of all, Maggie knew her.

Ever wonder how a One year old celebrates her birthday? Well, this should give you an idea...

Maggie the Artist

So, as most of you know, I'm learning to sew (taking a class at Tri-County) and just for the record, I LOVE it! I've made a pillow, pajama pants, a birthday dress for Sue, and I'm getting ready to work on some window treatments. I rearranged our upstairs to be compatible with all my messes that I see to create. My sewing/craft corner is now exactly that...a corner rather than the entire room. I brought Mama's sewing maching from Townville and although I was a little scared of it at first, I've started to figure it out. It's one of the old models that is actually attached to the cabinet, so it was a little difficult to figure it out Kimberly's (sewing teacher) help. While everyone else was lugging their machines into class every week, I wasn't because I would've had to bring the entire cabinet in. Hm.

So anyway, last Wednesday, it was Sue's 21st birthday. I was upstairs with Maggie racing to finish the dress that I was giving Sue for birthday. By the way, in the last post from the Zoo, Sue is actually wearing the dress so you'll have to check it out. So, I was sewing like a banshee and Maggie was playing. She had crawled behind me and was playing in my craft bins which isn't necessarily the smartest thing to let her do, right? I was checking on her, though, so she couldn't really get into anything. At that point, whatever would make her happy so I could sew was what I was going to let her do.

Things all of a sudden got very quiet. I turned around and this is what I saw:

At first, I was like "Oh my gosh!" and then I just looked at her grinning at me and I couldn't help but start laughing. It was a red marker, by the way, and a crayola one, so child safe for anyone who was worried.

I scooped her up and took her to her changing table. Honestly, this picture doesn't even do the mess justice. Red marker all over her legs, arms, in her hair, on her feet. I started scrubbing and realized I was only smearing it. Finally, I gave up, went back upstairs and dumped her in the bathtub. Everything came off except for the distinct bright pink color on her lips. She looked like she had bright pink lipstick on for the rest of the night. When I dumped her bath water, it was actually pink. Those are the things that will be fun to remember.

Maggie Mozart

I am really encouraged by this video. I think my child may take after me in the piano department. Sit back, relax, and enjoy this composition by the one and only, Maggie Mozart.

She especially loves playing for an audience. The more people, the better. Definitely a little ham. Here are a few more poses of our little pianist:

The Koo Koo Ice Cream Depot

Recently, Sarah, Sue, me, and the Mag took a little Girls trip downtown to eat The Koo Koo Ice Cream Depot (http://www.kookooicecreamdepot.com/). It is the cutest little ice cream shop and really feels like the "old-timey" real thing. They've used all train decor because the owner's son (when he was little) used to say "Koo Koo" instead of "Choo Choo" for a train whistle. So, there's a little history if you didn't already know. We had fun, though - just girls! Maggie was pretty amazed, however, by this couple that came in. You could tell that they were probably on their first date - nervous laughter, stupid jokes, the works, etc. And I think Maggie really added a lot to their ice cream experience because the last picture shows what she did pretty much the entire time they were there. She actually cried when they left. I don't know why she found them so entertaining...

But, we had a fun and Sue pretty much stole my camera and was the photographer of the night. I'm so glad we live in a little city like Anderson. If feels relatively big until you go somewhere that is truly big and come back home. After we got home from Vegas recently, Anderson felt like a "village" and I loved it. Never want to live anywhere else!

Happy Birthday, Granddaddy...

I'm not one to normally get very sad on this little Maggie Sunshine blog, but just let it be said that we have survived another family holiday without our centerpiece. Definitely not easy and I think Sue said it best when she said that more than anything, she was sad for Daddy today who was spending his 54th birthday and the first birthday without his spouse. It's definitely so much to absorb and it's pretty sad to think about him being at the little house in Townville tonight by himself. That's just the new "way it is", though.


Tonight was 10 months since Mama left. It is sinking in little by little that this really isn't a joke, this is really very real. It's really true that this is the first 10 months of the rest of our lives without our Mama, Daddy's wife, and Maggie's Grandmama. I don't really believe we'll ever "get better" or "move on", I just believe that we'll learn how to mold into the new life that has become our "normal".


A heartbreaking sight is when Daddy picks up Maggie, carries her through the house, stops in front of the famous and beautiful picture of Mama at our wedding reception, and says, "Maggie, who's that? Can you say Grandmama?" And Maggie just stares at her like she knows. I believe she does. Daddy says it's his way of making sure Maggie knows who Mama is.

Mama on her 50th Birthday

The last picture ever taken of the original 5

One proud Grandmama and her little Margaret Denise

A proud Granddaddy with his first Grandbaby

I might be foolish for formulating these little idealistic ideas that Mama isn't completely gone, but she told me that she would be with us all and that when we were rocking our babies, she would be looking over our shoulders. Right there with us.

I miss her so so so much and days like this just bring it all a little closer. I don't ever want to forget anything about her. I have a Mama. I always will have a Mama who is with me. Maggie has a Grandmama that is just as much with her as if we could reach out and touch her. Some days it's hard to believe that, but I have to keep believing that. That's the only way I won't forget.

Maggie Bloopers

For some pretty hilarious footage of Maggie's Latest Tricks:

http://www.sarahrettew.com/2008/06/maggie.html

http://www.sarahrettew.com/2008/06/crawling-clapping-lessons.html

http://www.sarahrettew.com/2008/06/maggie-face-plants.html